Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Walking Dead: "The Death Ride of Merle"...or, weapons, warfare, and how to wack the Governor before he destroys your existence.



SPOILER ALERT!!!!!  If you haven't seen the most recent episode of the "The Walking Dead"...don't read this!  I have no wish to ruin anyone's enjoyment of the best zombie drama ever made.
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So.  I was actually starting to like Merle.  I realize that the writers of the show more or less have to cut down important cast members on a regular basis...that is actually one of the fundamental realities of The Walking Dead.  A la "Game of Thrones," anyone can be killed.  And sooner or later they probably will be.  But I was actually starting to like Merle, despite the white-trashy racist overtones and drug abuse and semi-sociopathic violence he was enamored of.  His death at the hands of the Governor...who is a lot more authentically sociopathic and at the same time reminds me of every crappy boss I've ever had...well, it was unfortunate.  Merle deserved better than that, even if he was intending to destroy himself.  He deserved to kill the Governor.
Merle's tactics against the Governor and his brute squad were sound, sort of.  The idea of firing when other people's bombs/mortars/artillery/gunfire provide masking noise is actually very smart.  Snipers have been abusing this boon for a long time, especially during high-intensity short range urban conflicts, like say the battle of Stalingrad.  The problem with Merle's delivery of the technique was that he was much too close.  The 5.56mm round used by M4 carbines like the one he was carrying is a potent little thing...it'll fly on a flat tragdectory out past several hundred yards.  Which means there's no reason to do your nifty sniper attack at point-blank range.  Merle should've gone into the woods and fired only at the Governor, if he got the chance.  Even if his purpose (which seems to be the case) was to die, he should have selected a spot that would've allowed him to slaughter more of the Governor's people. 
The actor who plays Merle, Michael Rooker, probably knows this, since he owns (unless I'm mistaken) a gun-range somewhere in California.  I've seen him shoot, in character and otherwise, and Mr. Rooker clearly knows how to use a gun.  The unfortunate fact is that Merle and one other person with some sand could have probably wiped out the entire dork-militia brought out by the Governor to ambush Rick.  Even if they were pushed back, the nitwits that the Governor employs lack the skills to track down a pair of determined individuals fighting their way through broken territory.  Even the best people under the Governor's wing are not particularly competent...take for example Rodriguez, the guy with the aluminum bat and the Heckler&Koch MP5K...K for "kurtz," or "short."  That weird little gun has gotten a lot of play time from Hollywood for a lot of years.  I don't know why, other than it looks interesting.  But in the apocalypse, it's a really bad idea...there are no extra magazines, it isn't particularly accurate...you could find many better things to equip yourself with.  Yet Mr. Rodriguez continues to use his MP5K, always on full auto, despite his magazine dillema. 
The entire concept of ambushing Rick's group, as the Governor has invisioned it, was put together by a three-year-old, apparently.  I can see this, and I'm only an academic.  Ask a few ex-soldiers, and see what they'd recommend.  The people in the prison should have wiped out the Woodbury militia by now.  Originally I would have argued for a defense of the prison, followed by a counterattack.  But after the last episode, I'd say that the group should be broken into a handful of small teams, and each of them should launch simultaneous attacks on the Woodburyians, just like the Celtiberian warriors who proved to be so troublesome to Rome (in Spain, or Hispania) in the middle of the second century BCE.  The best defense is a good offense, if your opponents are the dinks from Woodbury.


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